I used to be someone you knew.

[Fan Fiction] Stars

2009-05-21T01:27:48Z

Title: Stars
Author: coldsidewalk
Rating: G
Summary: Tifa has always loved looking at the stars. CloTi. Tifa PoV. Reminiscence of in-game events.
Link: FanFiction.net

It was always so dark in Midgar. Longingly, I would find myself tilting my head back, and expecting the eager embrace of a starry night sky, yet I was always disappointed when a cold plate of gray scoffed at me, and I realized it was merely a fantasy. I could close my eyes, though, and envision how the night skies sparkled with specks of hope on the outside.

It wasn’t only the bleak dimness of Midgar that got to me. Stenches of machinery and rust were heavy enough to choke you, and the constant whirring and buzzing of inefficient vehicles was deafening. The neighborhoods were stricken by harsh poverty, and with every other step you took, a pickpocket would be on your heels. I never blamed them, though; in fact, I often willingly gave them as much gil as I could part with, and I prayed that someday they would be able to escape the fruitless land of Midgar.

Despite all of its shortcomings, there were reasons that I wanted to stay in Midgar. One of them was Avalanche, a coalition formed with some of my closest friends. They audaciously cried out against Shinra and their technologies, and the group’s pleas and actions were for the rescue of the Planet. I would often think to myself about how hefty a desire the saving of the Planet was, yet I know now that it is indeed possible. Avalanche was the stepping stone to the Planet’s rescue, and they bound me to the hopelessness of the caliginous city.

Another reason for my reluctance to leave Midgar was my bar; I took so much pride in my running of it, and having friendly, regular customers brought me hope that perhaps I could help change the forsaken land. I wanted to give the residents of Sector 7 a reason to smile.

Even though Midgar was rotting and unkempt, it was my home. I would trade all of the stars in the sky to be with my friends, and to bring a glimmer of joy into a slum dweller’s heart.

But in all honesty, I think I could sense that I would be pulled away from the rusted pizza, especially on the day that I found him.

It was a day that seemed colder and darker than most when I fatefully walked past the train station. I noticed a guard tending to a young man who was disoriented beyond words, and I decided to see if I could help. I walked over to him, and I was slightly frightened by his appearance. The man was disheveled, dressed in a Shinra uniform and wielding a large sword, and his head was covered in spikes of blond.

Those blond spikes elicited a faint memory within me, but I couldn’t quite place it.

The man managed to come to his senses upon seeing me, and he tentatively whispered, “Tifa?”

I was startled as I looked into his radiant blue eyes, and the puzzle pieces of my memory quickly sorted and interlocked as I recognized the man.

“Oh, Cloud!” I spoke, my statement escaping me as a surprised gasp.

The lost figure of my past rose to his feet, and he smiled to me jauntily, yet I could feel underlying anxiety in his appearance. There was something about the way he stood and spoke that alarmed me, but I continued to talk to him.

“How long has it been?” I spoke meekly, nervously running my fingers through my hair. I looked to him expectantly as a pained expression crossed his face with the recalling of a memory.

“Five years.” His words were spoken bluntly and assuredly, and responsively, my eyes darted to the ground.

I hadn’t believed him. It had been seven years since his teenaged self left our village of Nibelheim with plentiful determination to make it as a top-notch Soldier. It had been seven years since I looked into his blue eyes, yet they now possessed a peculiar glow that sent shivers down my back.

It had been seven years since the young, blond boy asked me to meet him at the well in the center of our hometown. His request was unexpected, but I went anyway, and I was met with his yearning tale of becoming a Soldier.

It was a gorgeous night; the sky was filled brilliant stars that never got to share their stories with Midgar.

It was that moment beneath the starry canvas of the night sky that he made a promise to me that he would save me if I was ever in trouble. His demure words made me feel protected, and that childhood promise remained with me in my heart even years after he left the gates of Nibelheim.

I really hadn’t noticed Cloud much until he headed for Shinra. From that night forward, I followed numerous newspapers, desperately hoping to see the boy’s name that promised to rescue me. Each day, however, I was left with one less gil in my pocket and shattered expectations.

But at that moment at the train station, I was reunited with my childhood acquaintance after years of waiting; it wasn’t the reunion I had hoped for, however, and thoughts gusted tumultuously within my mind, and I was not sure how to react to the man.

I tried my best to look cheerful despite the wrathful confusion I was experiencing.

Cloud soon told me that he was a mercenary, and I decided to tell him about Avalanche and their need for another member. My suggestion wasn’t as much for the benefit of the faction, but instead so I could keep an eye on Cloud to make sure he was okay.

I suppose I came to his rescue that time.

I remained by his side as he struggled with his identity, and it was during his times of vulnerability that I fell in love with him.

We left the smothering world of Midgar together, and I was not reluctant after my bar had been destroyed. With him, I was able to see the night skies again. The same stars that watched over us in Nibelheim years before greeted us as we continued on our journey against Sephiroth. We walked together in near-wordless companionship, and I was with him at every moment; I felt as compelled as I had been that day at the train station that I was going to help him sort out his muddled thoughts and feelings.

We continued battling together with our comrades, and at times, I felt hopeless. It was as if the true Cloud was hidden away, and the man beside me was continually drifting farther away.

This was especially true when our dear friend Aeris died; it seemed as if the stars I longed for so desperately for years had lost their desire to shine, as did Cloud.

Yet perhaps this tragedy helped lead to his self-discovery. As we sank into Lifestream together, I was able to help him find his true self, and in doing so, I grew to love him more. His collection of precious memories affected me in ways I could not describe, and I was almost in tears realizing how much my opinions affected him. After our ordeal in Lifestream, I felt more reassurance knowing that I was not just loving a shell of the man named Cloud; it was actually Cloud himself, with all of his memories correct and intact.

Despite the affection I felt for him, I could not share my feelings with him. I actually think I’d rather live in a world of ‘what if’ than face the possibility of rejection by the person I care for most. In my position now, I’m able to focus on all of the amazing things we’ve been through together with a positive outlook. I don’t wish to ruin the great friendship we’ve created after spending years with each other.

Sometimes I feel as if the stars above me want me to tell him, but I only smile sadly in response, and I continue to indulge in the friendship I currently share with Cloud.

We’re happy now, and that’s all that matters.

[Fan Fiction] Drunken Kisses

2009-05-20T23:22:38Z

Title: Drunken Kisses
Author: coldsidewalk
Rating: R
Summary: Reno's drunk again, and it's Rude's responsibility to take care of him. Slash. Reno x Rude.
Link: FanFiction.net

Two men in suits were sitting at stools in a cramped bar filled with dirty air heavy with cigarette smoke. It was a familiar setting for them; they often drank together, and their social dynamics were always the same. The feisty redhead would ramble on about everything that had occurred during the day, laugh, and crack as many jokes as he could come up with as his bald partner would simply sit in silence with an occasional nod and sip of his drink.

“So like,” Reno slurred with a smirk, “I heard Tseng got to second base with Elena.” After that statement, Reno was thrown into a fit of giggles, and added, “Never thought that uptight son of a bitch would get a girl.” The slighter man’s glazed aqua eyes focused on his unresponsive coworker, and a smile played on Reno’s lips as he twirled his crimson locks on a finger. “He seemed like one of those fuckin’ work-before-bitches kinda guys, ya know.”

Rude merely took a drink of his beverage and nodded.

“Yeah.” Reno chugged the rest of his drink and remarked, “Another drink, man, I wanna get fuckin’ hammered.” Another beverage appeared before him, and his blue eyes sparkled cordially. “Fuck yeah.” The statement drifted from Reno’s lips softly, and he continued to drink with scattered laughter. “How was your day, babe?” Reno asked slyly through giggles, and he looked to his partner expectantly with a grin.

“Fine.” Rude looked to the red-haired man, and a flicker of concern appeared in his taupe eyes behind his sunglasses as he watched Reno consume more alcohol. “Reno,” the bald man asserted quietly, “maybe that’s enough.”

Amusement drained from Reno’s sculpted face, and his features shifted into a scowl. “Whatever, bro,” Reno spoke with a sigh. “I can fuckin’ drink if I want to. You’re not my mom.” As if in defiance, Reno continued to drink, glowering at Rude as he swallowed.

“Reno…” His colleague’s name left his lips as only a whisper; Rude knew where the night was headed, and he also knew that it would be impossible to talk any sense into the man. The broad-shouldered Turk winced as Reno ordered more drinks, and a frown ghosted over his mouth as the redhead continued to chug with greater ferocity.

“Fuck, Rude,” Reno snapped, sensing the taller man’s looks of disapproval, “lighten up. Maybe you oughtta drink more, you fuckin’ douche.” Rude turned his head away in response, and Reno continued, “Fuck you, man. You’re an ass.”

Rude slowly looked to Reno again, and he could tell that his partner had slipped from the realm of ‘fun’ drunkenness, and he knew that hell was about to break loose. Reno would occasionally drink himself into a mad stupor, and Rude was always the one who watched over him; he felt it was his job to make sure his coworker didn’t harm himself.

Gruffly, Rude spoke, “Come on Reno, we’re leaving.”

“No!” the redhead whined, his blue eyes glaring at his now-standing partner. “No, you asshole, I still wanna drink, god, you’re an idiot!”

Rude didn’t utter a word in response, instead, he grabbed Reno by his sides and effortlessly carried him. Wildly, Reno punched, kicked, and cursed Rude, trying in vain to release himself from the bald man’s arms.

“Fuck you, Rude!” Reno screeched, continuing his futile punches upon his partner’s back. “I fucking hate you, Rude! I hate you!” Reno gave an animalistic scream as his attacks lessened in intensity. “I hate you,” Reno mumbled sharply as Rude carried him out of the bar, and the redhead’s limbs flopped limply as he resigned himself to the taller man’s arms.

Rude carried the inebriated man to their shared hotel room nearby, and when they entered the room, Rude sat Reno gently on the worn loveseat. Carefully, the taller man removed Reno’s wrinkled blue blazer, and undid the straps of his goggles. Rude looked to the redhead’s face after he sat him down; his scowl had been replaced with blankness.

His expression soon contorted as he wailed, “I hafta puke.”

With that cue, Rude took Reno by the arm, and helped the man keep his balance as he led him to the bathroom. When they made their way to the toilet, Rude helped Reno to his knees, and he held back his bright red locks as Reno vomited between heaves.

“Alright,” Reno gasped, “I’m finished.” Rude pulled Reno back to his feet, and he wobbled unsteadily like a young foal. With every one of Reno’s totters, Rude held him tighter, and he led him cautiously back to the loveseat.

Reno was reluctant to sit down, however, and instead looked into Rude’s shielded eyes. The drunken man clumsily pressed his lips to Rude’s, who courteously obliged, despite the lingering taste of fresh vomit. Reno continued his sloppy ministrations while haphazardly trying to undo the buttons of Rude’s blazer, but Rude caught his hands firmly with his own.

“You’re drunk, Reno,” Rude stated flatly, and the redhead looked to him with a furrowed brow.

“I know,” Reno slurred bluntly, his hands still resting on Rude for support. “And I’m fuckin’ horny.” Reno nestled himself more intimately into Rude’s form, and he ran one hand tantalizingly down the bald man’s chest. “Come on, baby, fuck me,” Reno whimpered as he pressed his mouth against Rude’s neck, licking it messily.

“You know I don’t like fucking you when you’re drunk,” Rude retorted, his demeanor remaining stoic despite Reno’s amorous efforts.

“Fucking jerk,” Reno mumbled before planting his lips sloppily on Rude’s with muffled moans.

Rude continued kissing the redhead delicately as he walked him over to the bed. Carefully, Rude helped Reno onto the bed and laid beside him, and the smaller man instinctively snuggled against Rude as the bald man stroked Reno’s unruly red tresses.

“I’m sorry,” Reno whispered waveringly after several minutes of silence passed. “Sorry, Rude.”

Quietly, Rude answered, “Don’t be, Reno.” He continued stroking Reno’s hair tenderly, and he honestly did not believe that the red-haired man should be apologizing. Rude had become accustomed to Reno’s alcoholism, as well as the fitful nights it brought about. Rude had decided long ago that he would care for Reno no matter what. It was not a burden to him; instead, he helped his partner with eagerness, and he indulged in the feeling of being needed.

“Hey, Rude,” Reno spoke in a hushed breath, slightly shifting his figure beside Rude.

“Yes, Reno?”

“I love you.”

With those three words, Reno’s lids fluttered shut, and Rude was left staring at the sleeping redhead, his hand still stroking him gently. Even when he was intoxicated out of his mind with scents of vomit wafting from him, Rude still thought that he looked angelic.

Tenderly, Rude pressed a kiss to Reno’s forehead and murmured, “I love you, too,” before succumbing to sleep entangled with his fellow Turk.

[Fan Fiction] Trapped

2009-05-19T19:16:02Z

Title: Trapped
Author: coldsidewalk
Rating: G
Summary: Even after the death of the dearest person in his life, Vincent continues to roam the Planet. Yuffentine. Vincent PoV. Post-game.
Link: FanFiction.net

Time drags on slowly for me, and every single day is a reminder of the closure I will never attain. I have already walked my path in life; I have already protected the Planet more times than imaginable. Despite having lived on this Planet for hundreds of years, I still appear to be a relatively young man. My face is the same as it has been since my initial punishment, though I have gained scars over numerous years of battling and repentance. I am still Vincent Valentine, and I am immortal. I will continue to roam this Planet until its last rotation.

I am constantly tormented by my demons, even though after years of coping with them, I am in great control. It is still unnerving to think that there are animalistic, barbaric creatures residing within me who only wish to destroy. They no longer surface, yet I still feel their lingering presences in the back of my mind.

It is because of these monsters that I do not have the capability to simply ‘die.’ The beasts within me will not succumb to the normal limitations of human life, leaving me trapped on this Planet with no hope for salvation.

If I had to choose the greatest reason I wish to return to the Planet, it would be her.

My beautiful wife, Yuffie; though she has been dead for nearly two hundred years, I can still perfectly envision her face, and her voice constantly haunts me. She was the one who was able to save me from my world of nightmares, and she gave me happiness, normalcy, and an amazing family.

I never planned to remarry after her death. She was my savior, and no other woman would be able to replace her charm and her outgoing nature. I simply live my life enveloped in memories of my late wife; I feel as if she has never left my side.

I have visited her grave every single day since her death, and I often spend my entire days there, sitting cross-legged and weeping over the memories I have of her. My mind often drifts to the day of her death, a day with more poignancy within my mind than any other.

It was particularly cool in her hometown of Wutai as Yuffie’s life faded from her, and even the songbirds seemed quiet. Yuffie laid on a humble futon, her hands trembling, and desperate gasps for breath escaping her. Lines covered her face, evident of her many years on the Planet, and she was frail and weak in her old age. Despite the years she gained, she was just as beautiful in my eyes as she had ever been.

I sat by her side for days, and my heart dreaded the inevitable ending. Our sons and daughters constantly came to see their dying mother, and we would often sit together in silence, simply reveling in the last minutes we were able to spend with Yuffie while she was alive.

Her death came quietly and peacefully, and I suppose I should be thankful in that regard. However, the moment I realized that my beloved wife would never again speak to me, and that I would never be able to see her or touch her again, I was thrown into a hysterical depression. I confined myself to our home in Wutai, and for the first few months, I only left to visit her grave. Our children continually tried to speak with me, but I denied them, and they eventually left me alone for my isolated grieving.

I avoided interaction with anyone until one of our grandchildren announced the birth of his daughter, our first great-grandchild. I visited the young family, and in the face of the newly born infant, I could see Yuffie. It was then that I realized that Yuffie was still with me on this Planet in the form of our descendants, as well as eternally within my heart. I left our house in the hands of our family, and our eldest son became the lord of Wutai.

I began traveling the Planet again, and I re-experienced every sight and spectacle I had seen during my years of protecting the world with Avalanche. Each location on the Planet held a certain memory of Yuffie, and it was clear that her spirit would never be lost.

Even with my travels, I visit Yuffie’s gravesite each day, and I often bring gifts I know she would enjoy, from white roses to rare orbs of Materia. Though a lot of time is spent silently or with tears, I also speak to the winds near her grave, with longing tales beginning with, “Remember when…”

As cold as it may sound, I do not seek out my descendants, and I do not speak with the ones that I know are around. Many of my offspring live in Wutai; the town is still ruled by a man descended from the Kisaragi bloodline, and it has been restored to a more revered society with riches and an overabundance of Materia. I am sure that I have descendants scattered around the Planet, but I would not feel comfortable trying to have relationships with them; if I were a normal ancestor, my memory would be simply continued by aural tales of my life. I do not feel that my descendants need to know of my existence, and I only wish that they pass on tales of my beloved Yuffie.

I feel my heart sink each time the realization of the impossibility of death enters my mind. I am trapped on this Planet, walking the same footsteps I have walked for centuries, and haunted by the memories of my wife. Sometimes, I hear faint cries from Lifestream that sound like her voice calling my name; there is such despondence in her cries that I break down with shouts of anguish.

Centuries ago, I fell in love with an optimistic, vibrant young woman who saved me from nightmares of guilt. She aged and died naturally, yet I was left behind in a separate world. Though we exist in different planes of reality, her memory is with me; I only wish to feel her in my arms once more.

[Fan Fiction] Question

2009-05-19T19:07:08Z

Title: Question
Author: coldsidewalk
Rating: PG13
Summary: Reno has a question for Rude as they are awaiting Cloud's rebel faction at the outskirts of Gongaga. Slash. Reno x Rude. In-game.
Link: FanFiction.net

Polished shoes trekked along the sandy ground with supercilious footsteps as the pair of coworkers in suits made their way to their instructed destination. They soon stopped at a forked pathway which led to the dismal town of Gongaga and its ruined reactor that took many villagers back to the Planet.

“Let’s see,” the fiery-headed Turk began, his lips curling wryly as he spoke. “Reeve said that Cloud and his gang should be heading to Gongaga any second now. Boy, do we got a surprise for them!” Reno laughed haughtily, yet his expression quickly fell grave. “They’re gonna get hell for what they did to me in Sector 7.”

The addressed bald man stood stoically with his back straight and arms crossed, and any semblance of emotion he may have shown was obscured by his dark sunglasses. His responses to his sly comrade usually consisted of nonchalant body language or monosyllabic acknowledgements, and from their history of working together, Reno was used to it.

“Yeah, bro.” Reno’s words drifted into the musty air as a faint wind blew. “They sure did a number on me. But I gotta new baton I’m really itchin’ to try out.” The redhead paused as his cerulean eyes gazed at his seemingly apathetic partner. “Yep, Bad Ass Reno’s back in action with his trusty sidekick, Silent Rude!” Reno chuckled lightly as the wind continued to blow his red locks into disarray.

The taller Turk nodded in response, his back still straight and his demeanor staid.

Reno grinned a cat-like smile at Rude, and jestingly asked, “Didja miss me while I was gone, big guy?”

Rude hesitated slightly before he answered. “Yes.” The single word floated from his lips softly, and its presence made Reno’s grin grow larger.

“I knew ya would. Cuz we’re like, an inseparable duo, except, well, we were separated. But not anymore! We’re the baddest pair of Turks Shinra’s ever had. You’re the ass to my whoopin’, bro!” Reno’s expression contorted slightly, and he soon started laughing hysterically. “Sorry, Rudey, gotta little bit carried away there. But seriously, we’re awesome.” The redheaded Turk smiled brightly, which elicited a grin from the quieter Turk.

“There ya go,” Reno continued, a grin still present on his face, “I knew I could get a smile outta you. Cuz behind your icy cold outside, you have a cuddly warm inside, ain’t that right?” Reno laughed again, and a near-silence passed between the two, the chirping of Mako-affected insects being the only noise audible.

“Hey, Rude,” Reno continued again after a moment, he being incapable of remaining silent. The acknowledged man turned to his comrade, and Reno continued, “Who do you… like?”

Rude turned away slightly, and his hard gaze met the ground. Silently, thoughts pooled in his mind, none of which he wished to share with his coworker.

Who do I like? The question rang in Rude’s mind, and his realization of the answer made his stone-colored eyes narrow, though they were shielded by his securing sunglasses. His head pivoted a bit to look at the smirking redhead, and he thought, I like this wily, drunken bastard in front of me, that’s who.

“C’mon! Don’t be embarrassed, Rude.” Reno bit his lip in a smile as his eyes sparkled craftily.

With a sigh, Rude spoke, “Tifa.” As soon as the name fled his lips, his eyes abruptly retreated to the ground.

Reno’s grin softened, and a look of contemplation appeared on his features. “Hmm, buddy,” he answered thoughtfully, “that’s a toughie.” Suddenly, Reno’s head snapped up, and he looked to Rude with widened blue eyes. “But, wait a second, poor Elena! You and her…”

Rude responded with a stern shake of his head. Despite his dislike of gossiping, he stated, “No, she likes Tseng.”

“Ohh… I didn’t know that! But, doesn’t Tseng like that Ancient chick?” Reno continued smirking, and in a mock singsong voice, he spoke, “Drama!”

Drama indeed… Rude thought to himself, but his thoughts were soon interrupted by panicked screams from the newest Turk, Elena.

“They’re here! They’re really here!” Elena yelled, rushing anxiously to the sides of the more experienced Turks. Behind her were the group of rebels they had been expecting since their tip from Reeve, and the two opposing parties engaged in battle.

After enduring strong spells of magic as well as brute physical strength, the Turks felt it necessary to escape from the battle. Despite their fleeing, Reno still stood cockily, and as the group made their way back to the company headquarters, he spat, “Damn, my shiny new baton didn’t help a bit. I guess it’s time for another upgrade.”

While the redheaded man pondered newer models of electric batons, he noticed that Elena had taken a different route, and the two original comrades were alone yet again.

Rude noticed, too, and golden sunlight reflected off of his sunglasses as he looked to his partner.

“Hey, Reno,” Rude uttered softly, his voice faltering slightly with nervousness. “Could I ask you a question?” Rude continued walking briskly beside his partner, yet Reno’s steps ceased as he realized the taller Turk wished to converse.

“Oh boy, Rude’s talking!” Reno grinned cheerfully, and he gave a sarcastic wink. “And, ‘course, bud, you can ask me anything.” Reno looked to Rude attentively, his smile still apparent on his face.

Rude fumbled with his sunglasses slightly, and he pushed them higher onto the bridge of his nose as he had second thoughts about asking Reno his question. Reno’s bright blue eyes looked to Rude patiently as he awaited the quiet man’s query.

“Who exactly do you like, Reno?”

Reno’s grin widened, and he began to chuckle, yet it wasn’t his ordinary chuckle. The laugh he emitted seemed to be laced with sardonic melancholy, and he spoke, “I don’t know if you really wanna know the answer to that, buddy.”

Rude hesitated slightly, and replied, “I do.” Rude looked to Reno with hidden curiosity, desperately wanting to learn his answer.

“Well…” The word fell from Reno’s lips in a hushed manner, and he looked to the sky with his hands on his hips. “Uhm, this is really hard to say, buddy.” Reno laughed nervously in spite of his usually laid-back nature.

“I like you, Rude.”

Reno’s face turned glum, and he looked to the ground dejectedly. “Go ahead, call me a faggot, I’m sorry. Shit, I really shouldn’t have told you, I’m sorry, man.”

“No,” Rude spoke, shaken by the statement from Reno. “No, Reno, I’m glad you told me.” He looked to the redhead, and was shocked to see that he was sobbing.

“Aw, oh man, I’m such a goddamn sissy. Look at me, Bad Ass Reno, crying cuz I’m such a disgusting faggot. Aw, Rude… I’m sorry, really sorry, bro. You’ve been an awesome partner, and an even better friend, but I understand if you don’t really want to be around me anymore. I’m sorry.” Reno sniffled and looked to the bald man, afraid of what words may leave his lips.

“Reno,” Rude spoke in his flat voice, “you’re not disgusting. There’s no reason to cry, Reno.” Rude’s gloved hand rested on the other Turk’s shoulder, and he continued, “Because… I like you too.”

Reno laughed through his tears, and shakily responded, “Best not be messing with me, bro.” He looked up to Rude, who had removed his sunglasses of security, and for the first time, Reno could look into his colleague’s eyes, which were chocolate-colored wells of emotion.

“I’m being honest,” Rude answered, and Reno could sense an underlying warmth beneath the usually-stoic man’s words. Reno’s face still showed a look of dolefulness though, to which Rude spoke, “Reno, be strong. You’re a Turk.”

Reno grinned at that statement, and he began to laugh jovially. “Damn right I am. Even if I am queer, I’m still a Turk, and I can kick ass.” Reno smiled at Rude, and he stared into his dark brown eyes. “God, Rude, your eyes are amazing.”

Impulsively, Reno smashed his lips onto Rude’s, reveling in the feeling of his fantasy coming true. Reno moaned wantonly as Rude pulled his body against his, and the redhead pushed his tongue into Rude’s mouth with continued moans. The two shared flavors of booze, cigarettes, mints, and saliva as they partook in the fervent kiss.

The kiss eventually broke, leaving the two Turks breathless. When Reno had regained enough composure, he began, “Shit, Rude, you’re really something. You know, the name ‘Silent Rude’ doesn’t do you justice.” Reno took a moment of contemplation before continuing. “How ‘bout Sexy Ass Rude?”

Rude smiled silently in response, and Reno continued, “Yeah, Bad Ass Reno and his sidekick ― no, wait, his partner of equal awesomeness, Sexy Ass Rude!”

Reno continued his laughter as both he and Rude made their way back to the Shinra headquarters. For once, they were not bitter about their defeat by the rebel faction; instead, they were elated by their new discoveries, and they both remained smiling even while enduring the aggravated shouts of Rufus Shinra.

[Fan Fiction] Reflections

2009-05-18T02:01:46Z

Title: Reflections
Author: coldsidewalk
Rating: PG
Summary: Vincent reflects on his past filled with turmoil, as well as his current state of being. Yuffentine with slight Vincent x Lucrecia. Post-game. Slight DoC reference.
Link: FanFiction.net

Vermilion eyes slid closed indolently, their owner immersing within familiar thoughts of his troubled past. These reminiscent moments continued to haunt him, despite the new life he lived; he was now a changed man, and he even felt a semblance of amnesty towards himself.

This forgiveness had not come easily. It was brought about by the inexorability of his closest friends, especially that of the young ninja with everlasting optimism which was reflected strikingly in her gray eyes. Her persistent smiles combined with her unwavering concern for the slim gunman had allowed him to realize that he was deserving of forgiveness.

Vincent looked to the petite figure beside him in his bed, her eyes closed, and soft breaths escaping her quietly. His eyes glowed with subtle warmth and affection for the young woman, and he ran his hand gently across her creamy face. She had truly rescued him from the dark confines of his pitiless conscience, and he was eternally grateful.

Regardless of this clemency concerning his past sins, he still mourned the loss of human lives.

Nightmarish memories clouded his mind like a heavy shadow. One image of his tortuous past remained the most poignant; the brilliant scientist and basis of Vincent’s vilest of sins, Lucrecia.

The slender man drew against himself ashamedly, and he felt a familiar pang of guilt. His crimson eyes squeezed shut, and his thin lips mouthed, “I’m so sorry.”

With a sigh and a shudder, the gunman composed himself. He had to remember that he was not to blame for Lucrecia’s fate; it was utterly beyond his control, and he had no knowledge of what disasters were to emerge because of the experiment. It was the work of the megalomaniacal Professor Hojo and his twisted morals regarding science.

It was Hojo who caused the ruination of the beautiful Lucrecia, and who condemned Sephiroth to a life of discord before he even took his first breath of air. In the perverse name of science, Lucrecia and the son she never knew were destroyed, and countless others fell victim to the repercussions of Hojo’s macabre misdeeds.

Lucrecia. The name wandered in his mind aimlessly; its bearer was undoubtedly one of the most pivotal figures in his life, and not one day passed that he hadn’t wished he could have rescued her from the crazed hands of Hojo. Vincent envisioned her delicate features and caramel-colored tresses, yet his attraction to her went beyond her outward appearance. She had a stunning mind as well as an unparalleled devotion to her work, these of which would lead her to her devastation.

Vincent sighed with desolate recollection. During their employment together, he was oblivious to Lucrecia’s own sorrows. The young Turk couldn’t understand why Lucrecia acted so coldly towards him; he felt that he was flawed and not worthy of Lucrecia’s love. When she conceived Hojo’s child for experimentation, Vincent was heartbroken, yet he was decisive in his idea that she only chose Hojo because of her dedication to biotechnology. He had not known of Lucrecia’s role in the death of his father or the guilt she suffered from because of the tragedy. Vincent objected fiercely to the experimentation Hojo desired, yet his efforts proved to be futile.

From the DNA of the extraterrestrial calamity, Sephiroth was born. In Vincent’s mind, he was another life he could not save. He was another tally on the slate of sins in Vincent’s soul. It took more strength for Vincent to forgive himself for his inability to save an innocent life than any other conflict he had ever encountered.

A soft crying interrupted Vincent’s reminiscence, and the noise elicited stirring from the figure beside him.

“Vince,” Yuffie spoke drowsily, “can you get the baby? I’m hella tired.”

In quiet compliance, Vincent arose from his bed and walked to the pastel-colored crib, and gently picked up the fussing infant. In the arms of his father, the baby calmed his cries, and nestled against Vincent tenderly.

Vincent looked to the infant caringly; his downy hair was the shade of nighttime, and in his small eyes shone the same garnet hue as his father’s.

While holding the infant, Vincent continued his thoughts. If it had not been for Hojo and his creation of Sephiroth, he reflected silently, I would have never met Yuffie. Vincent affectionately ran his hand through his child’s hair, his eyes showing placid fondness. And I would not have this beautiful child.

In that moment, Vincent comprehended a new meaning of the loss of lives; the opportunity for new lives. With Avalanche’s shared goal of pursuing Sephiroth, Vincent was able to meet the woman who impacted his life more greatly than anyone else. She dispelled his notion that he was a monster, and she accepted him with more kindness and smiles than he believed he deserved. Yuffie brought Vincent happiness, and she freed him of his incessant self-loathing with her hopefulness and sympathy.

The destroyed life of Sephiroth brought them together, and in turn, a new life was created. Sephiroth’s sacrifice gave Vincent the most significant things in his life.

As Vincent laid his sleeping child back into his crib, a collage of his past memories swirled inside his mind with images of Hojo, Lucrecia, and Sephiroth. Those individuals and their mistakes and losses allowed Vincent to have the happiness and the life he was living now.

Almost soundlessly, Vincent whispered, “Thank you.” His deep red eyes blinked thoughtfully, and he soon headed back to bed at Yuffie’s side.

[Fan Fiction] Crimson Solace

2009-02-22T23:15:11Z

Title: Crimson Solace
Author: coldsidewalk
Rating: PG
Summary: In a time of grief, Yuffie's sorrow is assuaged by an unlikely person. Yuffentine. Post-game. Disregards AC and DoC.
Link: FanFiction.net

Tears streaked down her porcelain face, and she gave a shudder; it was a cold, bleak day in Wutai, and all of the natives wore dismal expressions, yet hers was the most dispirited.

With slight sniffles and sobs, she arose gently from her kneeling position beside the heavily adorned futon, yet quickly collapsed to her knees yet again. She wasn’t ready to leave yet, and she wasn’t sure if she would ever be ready. With stained red eyes, she looked to the man on the bed. Glory and pride were still reflected on his halcyon face, just as she would always remember him.

As the young woman continued weeping, a soft knock sounded on the thin door. She lifted her head slightly, and gave a hoarse, “Come in.”

“Miss Yuffie.” The acknowledgement drifted delicately into the somber room, and the woman addressed turned to face her visitor.

“Yes, Chekov?” Yuffie’s words trembled as she spoke, and she mustered as much strength as she could to keep from crying.

“Miss Yuffie, I understand you still wish to mourn in private, yet we all think it would be best for you to come out, and allow others to console you in this time of grief. We’re worried about you.” The older woman looked to Yuffie sympathetically, stricken by the young woman’s distraught appearance.

Yuffie nodded with downcast eyes, and stood up quietly. Her feeble steps were evident of both physical and emotional weakness, yet she managed to make her way to the front room of the ornate home, with the aid of Chekov.

The young ninja’s stormy eyes widened at the sight of her former comrades in the room, each of them wearing commiserative expressions.

The recently married couple of Cloud and Tifa stood beside each other, both of their faces forlorn, showing compassion for their young friend. Even Barret and Cid, the rougher and more hardy characters of their team, conveyed concern for the young woman. Red XIII portrayed great sympathy for Yuffie, expressing his regard for the deceased. Even Reeve had arrived; despite his traitorous status during their rescue of the planet, he had proven himself to be a respectable man with care for the other members of Avalanche.

In the corner of the room, a tall figure cloaked in crimson stood alone; he was seemingly unaware of those surrounding him. His arms were crossed and his expression was blank; his emotions lay dormant beneath his outward appearance. It was Vincent, the tortured man who was a loner in nature, with bright, bloody eyes that reflected feelings of disloyalty and damnation.

Yuffie looked to all of the planet’s brave saviors, her friends, and began to wail hysterically. Fresh tears began to flow wildly down her already stained cheeks, and she spoke, “Thank you for coming, it means so much,” between choked sobs.

Tifa hurried to the young woman’s side, hugging her tightly. “I’m so sorry, Yuffie, I’m so sorry,” she whispered softly, the trembling ninja still in her arms. “I’m here for you, Yuffie, we’re all here for you. We care so much about you, honey. We’ll help you through this.”

Yuffie’s cries lessened as she was consoled by the brunette martial artist, and she soon regained her composure. “Thanks, everyone,” she began meekly. “I’ve been a bit of a mess today, I’m sorry. I’m just so thankful to see you all, especially when I need you most.” A slight smile ghosted over Yuffie’s pink lips, though it was laced with melancholy.

“Don’t apologize, girl,” Cid spoke coarsely, though underlying warmth could be sensed. “Your old man just passed away, you shouldn’t be carin’ ‘bout nobody but yourself.” The pilot inhaled his cigarette thoughtfully, looking to Yuffie in a gracious manner.

“Thank you,” said Yuffie in a hushed tone. “You’re all so kind to me.”

The group of comrades smiled responsively, sans Vincent, feeling that the young woman deserved their kindness. They were surprised at the maturity she showed; she had really grown from an energetic, wily child into a decorous young woman.

“Father’s funeral is tomorrow,” Yuffie began sullenly, her gray eyes retreating to the ground. “May I ask of your attendance?”

“Of course,” was the unanimous reply, each of the warriors wishing to express their condolences for the young ninja’s loss.

“Thank you,” Yuffie replied appreciatively. “It means a lot to me.” Tears began to well in her eyes yet again, which triggered another hug from Tifa.

“It’s getting late,” Tifa whispered gently. “Perhaps you should be heading to bed.”

Yuffie nodded acceptingly, and with this acknowledgement, the planet’s saviors disbanded for a night of slumber.

-

Bright stars were scattered among the ebony canvas of the night sky, the large moon shining as the brightest of all, its craters profound and detailed. The dark setting of the night was calm and peaceful; this was the type of moment the gunman felt most desirable. He sat placidly upon the sculpted figures of the Da Chao statue, lost in his private world of isolation.

His silent thoughts were disturbed by subdued footsteps upon the stone of the statue. A small, lithe figure emerged in the darkness of the night, and she placed her hand upon the cloaked man’s shoulder.

“Hey, Vince,” Yuffie spoke in a whispery tone, seating herself next to the man. “The sky looks amazing tonight, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, Yuffie,” Vincent answered softly, but his attention shifted from the night sky to the young woman beside him. “Are you okay?”

“Not particularly,” Yuffie replied with a sardonic smirk. “It’s just so hard to understand that he’s gone. I mean, he was a ritualistic old bastard that demanded everything be done like tradition, but that’s part of what made him who he was. He was my daddy, and I was his little princess. He was an amazing warrior and leader, and he had such devotion to Wutai. I respected him so much. He was a really good man, Vince, and it’s so hard to believe that he’s gone.”

Yuffie leaned against Vincent slightly, and he realized that she was quietly crying. In an effort to relieve her sorrows, he placed his arm around her waist, and pulled the sobbing ninja against him.

“It will get better with time, Yuffie, I promise. I also know what it’s like to lose a father, and I know how arduous it is to recover.” He looked to the young woman, whose sobbing had ceased for the moment. Tenderly, he placed his hand upon her head, and ran his fingers through her chestnut locks. He whispered gently, “Everything will get better with time. You just have to remember to focus on the positive aspects of life.”

Yuffie gave a slight giggle against the slender man. “Vincent Valentine, you’re the last person I would have ever thought to hear that from.”

Vincent gave a small smile beneath his shielding cape. “It’s something you’ve taught me, Yuffie.” Vincent’s crimson eyes seemed to glow warmly as he looked to the young ninja.

“What? Honestly?” Receiving a nod of assurance, Yuffie continued. “But why? I always had the feeling that you thought of me as a pestering little brat. How could I have taught you anything?”

Vincent took a moment to look to the sky, and started, “I learn from everyone, and I take everybody’s mannerisms into consideration. Perhaps this is from my training as a Turk, but it’s proven to be invaluable throughout my life.” The gunman paused for a moment, and Yuffie looked to him intensely, wonderment evident in her features. “You, Yuffie, are a very spirited individual; you’re brave, curious, and scarcely in a bad mood. Yet when you are down, you manage to keep your optimistic outlook, and you’re soon back to your vivacious self.”

Yuffie smiled in a pleased manner, yet gave a shiver as the cool winds of the night graced her scantily clothed figure. Vincent noticed her discomfort, and without thought, he unlatched his crimson cape, and draped it over Yuffie’s narrow shoulders. Yuffie looked to him with timid eyes, and said, “Thanks, Vince.”

“It’s no problem,” Vincent responded humbly, looking to Yuffie. “I must thank you, though.”

“Oh?” replied Yuffie inquisitively. “For what?”

“For teaching me to focus on the good in life. Your spirit has really helped me to overcome my past struggles, and I sincerely thank you for it.” Vincent, without the security of his cape, was vulnerable; his emotions could be read more easily, and he could no longer recede into the safety of his cape.

Yuffie turned to the man, a smile playing daintily on her lips. “Thanks so much, Vincent. Your words really mean a lot to me. And hey, if I may ask,” Yuffie looked to the lean man, and didn’t receive opposition, “what made you come to Wutai today?”

“My friend was in a time of need. If I did not come, I would not have been able to forgive myself.” Vincent’s angular face was directed at the sky yet again, his previously latent emotions becoming clearer.

“You were worried about me.” Yuffie’s statement held a feeling of satisfaction, and she looked towards Vincent with pleasure.

“Yes,” he answered succinctly, meeting the young woman’s gaze. A silent moment passed, the two beings in perfect rapport. Vincent sensed drowsiness within Yuffie, and asked, “Do you wish to head back to your home?”

“Yeah,” she responded. Vincent stood up swiftly, and helped Yuffie to her feet. Yuffie stood briefly beside the man, and on a whim, she kissed him sweetly. Vincent did not react; he didn’t reciprocate, yet he didn’t flinch back, either. He simply looked to her with a blank expression, to which she replied, “I’m sorry.”

Vincent gave a slight shake of his head, his crimson eyes staring at the ground. “We should be going,” he spoke without emotion, walking ahead of Yuffie on the path of the Da Chao statue. Yuffie followed behind him briskly, new tears obscuring her vision, and her mind in a panic.

Yuffie continued through the darkness blindly, Vincent’s tattered cape billowing behind her. She had lost vision of where the gunman may have gone, and she decided to let him be. With anger and frustration towards herself, she ran to her small household, and into her cozy futon. Salty tears poured down her pale face, and she gave sputtering sobs, arousing the interest of her many cats.

“Oh, you guys,” she cried, sniffling slightly. “I just ruined everything. Why do I have to be so impulsive? God… he’s so amazing, and I just ruined absolutely everything.” Yuffie looked to a feline, tears still flowing from her steely eyes. “But… what if there was nothing to ruin?” Yuffie sat up slowly, and gave a sob. “He was never interested in me. He was just being nice to me because my fucking dad died! I’m so stupid. God, I’m so stupid!” Yuffie continued to wail hysterically, clutching the cape of the raven-haired man tightly, the pain of the events that occurred that day weighing heavily upon her.

-

Vincent sat silently upon a futon in a hotel room, his mind uneasy with thoughts of what happened upon the statue. He would not be able to forgive himself for allowing such a young, innocent woman to develop feelings for him; Vincent Valentine, a monstrous man that could only bring about the destruction of Yuffie.

His mind was utterly opposed to the thought of being with Yuffie, yet his heart felt differently. The young woman possessed such optimism and liveliness, things he envied greatly. She was everything he lacked, and his heart ached for her companionship; he felt that she would complement and complete him. Though he also knew that she was too young, too pure, and too exalted for such a meager man as himself, and there would be no way the complexities of a relationship could work between them.

Turmoil continued within his mind, and the tranquility of slumber would fail to greet him that desolate night.

-

The sun shone brightly the next morning, seemingly unaware of the tumultuous events that had befallen two of the planet’s saviors. The sky was a clear bright blue, and a few puffy white clouds meandered about lazily, vainly attempting to shield the rays of the sun. It was a beautiful day, yet not quite the dreary setting befitting a funeral.

Yuffie was eloquently dressed in a sable kimono, and her expression was grave; she looked as if she could become hysterical with the slightest of provocations. Attempting to remain as strong as she could, she made her way to the gravesite of her father.

She was among the first figures there, and she stood noiselessly beside the florid casket which held the body of the former lord of Wutai. The other townspeople allowed Yuffie her space beside the casket, for they were aware of how close their lord and his daughter had been. Yuffie looked to the serene face of her father; it was the same face that had raised her from a helpless newborn, to a rambunctious child, and eventually into a young woman filled with peace. The realization that this man would never again speak to her, offer his praise, his witticisms, or his embraces hit her hard. Tears again welled within her gray eyes, and as she covered her face with her callused hands, she felt familiar slender arms around her shoulders.

“Vincent,” she whispered timidly, tears still streaming down her cheeks. She turned to face the lanky man, and accepted his embrace.

“I’m so sorry, Yuffie,” Vincent spoke quietly, his face resting against the young woman’s head. He held her securely, and had decided within that moment that he would not leave her. They remained beside each other throughout the funeral service, and with Vincent’s compassion, she managed to stay relatively composed. She said her final goodbyes with tears reflecting fond memories and love; she knew she would not be the same after the loss of her father, yet she would still focus on the positive aspects of life, as Vincent had instructed her to.

The day ended calmly, and Yuffie seemed more collected, perhaps due to the closure she received from Godo’s funeral. She and Vincent had a silent connection; he held her quietly as she gathered her thoughts and emotions. Towards the end of the dolorous day, Yuffie spoke softly, “I’m sorry if I’m imposing upon you.”

Vincent shook his head gently, his deep red eyes meeting Yuffie’s sternly. “I am here with you because I wish to be, Yuffie.”

Yuffie’s eyes fell to the ground slowly, her demeanor growing meeker. “I’m really sorry for last night, Vincent, I really shouldn’t have tried to kiss you like that.” The young ninja wore an expression of regret and embarrassment from mentioning the events of the previous night.

“No.” Vincent’s single word was soft yet severe, and its utterance caused Yuffie to lift her head slightly. Receiving the woman’s puzzled gaze, he looked into her eyes with a visage of decisiveness, and kissed her gently.

Their lips met for the second time, and Yuffie was stupefied, yet she did not pull away. She savored the moment of Vincent’s pale lips pressed against hers; it was absolutely euphoric.

When the kiss broke, Yuffie looked to Vincent with a dumbfounded look, her eyes wide, and reflecting childlike vulnerability. “Why, Vincent?” she whispered, holding the man’s hand firmly.

“Yuffie,” he began, giving a slight swallow, “I find you to be a very appealing woman, and I would appreciate it if you were to consider courtship with me…” Vincent’s features showed great anxiety, and this fact made Yuffie feel apologetic for giggling.

“I’m sorry, Vince,” she said between giggles. “It’s just, you’re such a gentleman! It’s adorable.” She gave the man a bright smile, which he returned in his own manner.

“So, is that a yes?” he asked demurely, his eyes meeting Yuffie’s hesitantly.

Yuffie continued smiling, and hugged the gunman winsomely. “Of course,” she whispered in a hushed tone, her embrace unwavering.